The 9 Snobbiest Cheeses on This Planet, Ranked
Photo by Shutterstock1/9#9: Mimolette // France
The French answer to Gouda, Mimolette boasts a similarly vibrant color and chewy, almost cheddar-like flavor. But Mimolette gets extra nuance (and some sci-fi drama) thanks to its pockmarked rind, caused by the nibblings of beneficial cheese mites. Tell your friends, and watch as they morph from shocked to appalled to intrigued, a transformation that's definitely worth the price of admission.
Photo courtesy of Murray's2/9#8: The Other Stephen // Murray's Cavemaster
This cheese was born into privilege as St. Stephen, a bloomy-rind number from a Hudson Valley creamery that Clark describes as "butter turned into cheese". But then Murray's Cheese basted it in stout from Other Half in Brooklyn, giving a real roasty character that few other cheeses can claim.
Photo courtesy of Murray's Cheese3/9#7: Valençay // France
"They say Napoleon was angry at his failure to conquer Egypt, so when he returned to France he used his sword to cut off the head of a little cheese pyramid," Clark explains. Any cheese inspired by legendary emperor already has cachet, but this one, coated in slate-grey ash and packed with minerality and complexity, is especially regal.
Photo courtesy of Murray's Cheese4/9#6: Truffle Tremor // Cypress Grove
Anyone can make a delicate bloomy-rind goat cheese (well, maybe not one as well-crafted as those coming out of California-based Cypress Grove). But merging the mushroomy, floral notes of soft-ripened goat cheese with bits of luxurious truffle transforms this treat from perfectly balanced to mind-bendingly transcendent.
Photo courtesy of Murray's Cheese5/9#5: Etivaz // Switzerland
Sometimes the definition of luxury is refusing to compromise. That's what a group of Swiss cheesemaking families did when they saw the standards for Gruyère deteriorating. So the holdout families created Etivaz, a cheese made the way Gruyère used to be. The cows still graze up the Swiss mountains as the snows melt, the curds are still cooked in copper kettles, and the cheese is still aged until it tastes like butter, grass, and roasted hazelnuts.
Photo courtesy of Murray's Cheese6/9#4: Zimbro // Portugal
Most cheese is made by curdling milk with bacteria. Zimbrio, on the other hand, is part of an exclusive club of Portuguese sheep's-milk cheeses curdled with cardoon thistles instead. The process "leads to a broader range of flavors, ranging from sheepy to apple Jolly Ranchers," says Clark. Bonus: the delicate muslin wrapper makes every other cheese look underdressed.
Photo courtesy of Murray's Cheese7/9#3: Hudson Flower // Old Catham + Murray's Cavemaster
When it comes to cheese, making an impression is all about wardrobe—aka the rind that the cheese is dressed in. Luckily, this sheep's milk brie, made by Old Catham Sheepherding Company in the Hudson Valley, is wearing a glamorous blend of hops and herbs, creating an especially flavorful cheese that's "inspired by a Corsican cheese called Fleur de Maquis," says Clark.
Photo courtesy of Murray's Cheese8/9#2: Harbison // Jasper Hill Creamery
If you find Brie banal, but love the buttery richness and delicate funk of bloomy-rind cheeses, you'll want to get friendly with this American-made version, wrapped in spruce bark to "contain its ooze and infuse a woodsy flavor into the cheese," says cheese expert Christine Clark from Murray's Cheese. "It's like eating mushrooms that you've dipped in butter and taken for a walk in the forest." Just cut off the top and dive in.
Photo courtesy of Murray's Cheese9/9#1: Montgomery's Cheddar // Neal's Yard Dairy
There's no doubt that Montgomery's is the king of proper English cloth-bound cheddars, with a rustic exterior that hides a robust, almost crumbly cheese with a flavor like the “crispy edge of a Sunday roast,” says Clark. Matured by London-based Neal's Yard Dairy for 18 to 24 months, Montgomery's has been made by the same family for three generations, and its impressive pedigree is rivaled only by its savory flavor.
