Seafood

We wouldn’t call ourselves purists (like John Bil), but we tend to agree that steamed clams served with anything other than their own broth and butter is an abomination. We also think PEI might just have the prettiest white sand–dug clams we have ever seen.

Fred worked at Toqué! in the early 1990s, and one of his many tasks was cleaning squid. Every so often, the Anglophone sous chef would order from the Quebecois fishmonger at La Mer, and one day “15 pounds” of squid was heard as “50 pounds.” That week Fred cleaned 150 pounds of squid. He couldn’t smell squid for about ten years without feeling sick, but he’s back on the squid train now. The only way he can bear it, though, is filled with lobster and cooked in lobster juice.

We do not have a story for this recipe. Sorry.

We cannot not dedicate this recipe to the New Dynasty restaurant in Montreal’s Chinatown. Every Joe Beef cook has woken up at least once with an odd burn in his or her gut from the MSG and a soy sauce stain on his or her mouth after eating there. At New Dynasty, the tables are covered and the lights are really bright, not unlike Dexter’s murder rooms! The kitchen serves until 5:00 A.M., and the boss is patient with drunks who are loud and drunks who fall asleep at the table (that is, Peter Meehan). Here you can find every sea crawler you dare to eat: eel, jellyfish (served with cold chicken), huge live crabs, winkles, hacked-up crispy lobster, razor clams, and more. Inevitably, we start a meal at New Dynasty with the big Vancouver oysters, steamed with black bean sauce, one or two each, and a hefty pour of cold beer from a teapot. For this recipe, we use Gigas oysters from our friend Victor McLaggan of Cortes Island, British Columbia. They are as big as my feet and a bitch to open, but they have huge meats that can be overcooked without much sorrow. This is a case, unlike real life, where it’s easy to feel inept with a big one. If possible, ask your fish guy to open the oysters. If you can’t get these big oysters where you live, use smaller shucked oysters and bake them in ramekins. You’ll probably have sauce left over, so store it in the fridge and use it on chicken, duck, or anything else that sounds good.

It’s tough to find real chowder in this city, so we promised we would always have delicious homemade chowder by the cup or bowl at McKiernan. Ours is made with fresh Carr’s PEI clams.

When we started Joe Beef, the town was suffering from a weird vibe, a kind of up-the-ante feeling with regard to food: people went out to eat like college kids drink beer. If someone was doing testicles, you could count on someone else to pair them with pizza. Feet were kept on chickens, and heads and eyeballs were served as sides. There was no end in sight, much less vegetables. To put a damper on the frenzied quest for more, we thought that maybe the next ingredient should be inedible: not gold shavings, but what about an old radio? Doesn’t “oysters on the radio” sound good? When we ran out of radios, we used bags of sugar, erotic novels, or old album covers. The oysters themselves are simple: plump specimens topped with crisp bacon, chives, potatoes, eggs, cream, and some bread crumbs. Serve yours on any inedible ingredient of choice.

George Pullman was a fervent industrialist and a train man. He created the sleeping car, the hotel car, and eventually the dining car. Some say the Pullman sandwich loaf was designed after his cars. Others say it was designed to fit into the cube-shaped train shelves. Either way, this is an easy dish we would love to eat for breakfast—on the train, of course. This recipe makes one serving; use up the rest of the Pullman loaf making more boxes.

As we write this, it seems much more acceptable to spend $18 for an entire appetizer than it does to spend $180 an ounce for real caviar. What makes this setup grand is the ceremonial feel it has, like something you could get on the Orient Express. Feel free to use any kind of fish eggs: whitefish, salmon, trout, or even smoked or preserved fish. It’s also crucial that what you save on the real caviar, you spend on Champagne and on an overpriced silver serving dish from eBay. Eat it in your bed or on the bus.

Some chefs have decided cedar-planked fish is out of fashion, but we are still making it into the 2000s for two reasons: because it’s delicious and because our friend Mathieu, who is an amazing sculptor, will sometimes show up with some pretty radical cedar boards. Before starting this recipe, it’s a good idea to fill up the sink and soak your cedar board in cold water for as long as you can. This prevents a fire and makes the board a perfect steam generator for cooking the fish.

At Joe Beef, we serve this dish with East Coast scallops, about 5 or 6 per person, with a few tablespoons of hollandaise and a nice spoonful of pulled pork on top. Such a portion is a food-cost disaster and intimidating to some*, but the scallops go down easily and they’re better topped with pork than some foamy composition. To make this dish, you are going to work on the pulled pork first, then the hollandaise, and lastly the scallops, as they take only minutes. You will end up with an excessive amount of meat, which you can use to make some pulled pork sandwiches (page 151).

We take this name from an old Iron Chef episode when the host declared “Battle Homard Lobster!” Yes, homard and lobster mean the same thing (like “minestrone soup”). Among other things that don’t make any sense: this is probably the most popular Joe Beef dish.

The Irish are famous for their smoked salmon, so it's a natural for a St. Patrick's Day party. Of course, you don't have to use Irish smoked salmon for these toasts; any cold–smoked salmon will work well, but if you're feeling flush, you will be treating yourself to salmon that is super–silky in texture with a distinct smokiness that comes from spending time near smoldering hardwoods such as oak and beechwood. If topping your salmon with anything other than a gentle squeeze of lemon seems like heresy, don't knock our tangy–sweet malt vinegar syrup until you've tried it. You just might get hooked.

When I was in Trinidad, Winnie Lee Lum showed me how to make this superb dish, which beautifully demonstrates the convergence of Chinese and Trinidadian cooking traditions. Of course, the taste was extraordinary because Lee Lum only cooks with fresh local shrimp that her husband, Tony, purchases for her. Before cooking, she rinses the shrimp in lime juice, a Trinidadian cooking practice said to remove the "fishy" taste. She prefers the Chinese custom of cooking the shrimp in the shell to protect the shrimp's succulence and flavor. Rather than rice wine, Lee Lum insists on using dark Jamaican-style rum; according to her, white rum is too harsh for cooking. This is one of the easiest dishes to stir-fry, and it is guaranteed to satisfy.

Arnold's chef Kahlil Arnold brines catfish before dredging it in seasoned cornmeal to keep it super moist.

To easily roll out chilled store-bought dough, soften it first on a baking sheet set over a bowl of hot water.

Delicately flavored avocado oil can lose its personality when heated; pour a touch of the oil over food just before serving.

There are two keys to making this rich, smoky stew as good as it can be: Enhance the flavor of the broth with shrimp shells, and gently simmer the shrimp and fish so as not to overcook them. If you want to skip the homemade shrimp stock, substitute 2 cups of fish stock from your fishmonger or 2 cups of bottled clam juice.

Puttanesca isn't just for pasta. Anchovies and olives punch up a sauce hearty enough to stand up to meat or fish.

Nothing says CELEBRATION like blinis and caviar. These quick, buckwheat pancakes, made with baking powder (unlike the traditional yeast-based ones) are brightened with the addition of lemon zest. Use whatever caviar you prefer and your budget will allow. We are quite enamored of the trout caviar made in North Carolina (see Cooks' Notes). The roe is a beautiful pale orange with a delightfully firm texture that pops in your mouth. Better yet, it's much more affordable than imported or domestic sturgeon caviars (see Cooks' Notes).